Hello darling
how I miss you wish you were here for many reasons, not least because I am dealing with FedEx stuff to do with Philip's police report.You always had the patience to sit and wait for calls ,make calls to deal with this kind of thing. I am possessing my soul and patience at the moment.
Thursday 18 April 2019
January 2018. Blessings and Stressings
Hello darling John,
January is here with very cold rainy windy weather, as one would expect. I remember our Januarys in Spancilhill, the highlight of our year, almost a month off work, walking Minerva, cooking , reading resting, watch movies. We loved January.
I have been to Cambridge again to help Penny with the children while Steve was in Australia at his aunt's funeral. Johnny and Kate were both ill, Harry and Felix were in great form, as always, I call Harry Mr sunshine, he wakes up ready to take on the world with a sunny smile and a very loud voice :)
I am having trouble with Housing Benefit office and council tax office , they are saying I have been overpaid by 10.000 in total, which is very scary I went to bed one night debt free and wakened up £10,000 in debt.
David Globe is taking care of it for me, he helped me with my will and power of attorney .
He is a nice guy a friend of Philip Canter.
I have been knocked for six by this, it has thrown me back into deep grief for you, and pa and Anita even poor mum.
I have felt lonely too, something I don't feel very often, I think you would have taken this on without much stress, perhaps a few extra glasses of wine to see you through it :)
Andrew has been wonderful as ever, even said they were ready to give me the money and I should not worry there is no worst case , which touched me , so generous and caring.
So we will see how the lawyers letter goes down with the council.
Every one is well, all the children, their partners, and grandchildren ,friends and families, all well for now, which is a blessing.
I have one or two clients , and my courses start up in February.
I am going to Cambridge with Andrew and Lucy for a Lightman Burns Supper, kilts and Glamour.
In May June I am going to Castalla for a month, in July Andrew is taking me and Lucy's family to Tuscany, for a week,a place we always wanted to visit. The villa looks amazing.
I miss you I love you, I long for you, sometimes I wonder if I close my eyes and die , would I see you on the other side ....yet I don't believe that is true,,,,,,,but want to.
Your loving dedicated wife Helen...TT...xx
January is here with very cold rainy windy weather, as one would expect. I remember our Januarys in Spancilhill, the highlight of our year, almost a month off work, walking Minerva, cooking , reading resting, watch movies. We loved January.
I have been to Cambridge again to help Penny with the children while Steve was in Australia at his aunt's funeral. Johnny and Kate were both ill, Harry and Felix were in great form, as always, I call Harry Mr sunshine, he wakes up ready to take on the world with a sunny smile and a very loud voice :)
I am having trouble with Housing Benefit office and council tax office , they are saying I have been overpaid by 10.000 in total, which is very scary I went to bed one night debt free and wakened up £10,000 in debt.
David Globe is taking care of it for me, he helped me with my will and power of attorney .
He is a nice guy a friend of Philip Canter.
I have been knocked for six by this, it has thrown me back into deep grief for you, and pa and Anita even poor mum.
I have felt lonely too, something I don't feel very often, I think you would have taken this on without much stress, perhaps a few extra glasses of wine to see you through it :)
Andrew has been wonderful as ever, even said they were ready to give me the money and I should not worry there is no worst case , which touched me , so generous and caring.
So we will see how the lawyers letter goes down with the council.
Every one is well, all the children, their partners, and grandchildren ,friends and families, all well for now, which is a blessing.
I have one or two clients , and my courses start up in February.
I am going to Cambridge with Andrew and Lucy for a Lightman Burns Supper, kilts and Glamour.
In May June I am going to Castalla for a month, in July Andrew is taking me and Lucy's family to Tuscany, for a week,a place we always wanted to visit. The villa looks amazing.
I miss you I love you, I long for you, sometimes I wonder if I close my eyes and die , would I see you on the other side ....yet I don't believe that is true,,,,,,,but want to.
Your loving dedicated wife Helen...TT...xx
January 2nd 2019
Hello John,
I have not blogged for a while, I find it tough, as it stirs up tough feelings.
This last quarter has been tough, our birthdays our anniversary Christmas New Year. Visits with Johnny and co Penny and co, and just today David, Lara and Olivia have been here, it was wonderful to see them all again. I gave David our Summer Exhibition Book and our Guide to Venice book, and I asked him to choose one of your pictures, he took my favourite, the one at Callalla de Parafugel.
He was very touched and found it hard to take it from me, but my darling John I want all of your pictures to go to the children and the grandchildren, so that your memory will live on in all of them.
I have not blogged for a while, I find it tough, as it stirs up tough feelings.
This last quarter has been tough, our birthdays our anniversary Christmas New Year. Visits with Johnny and co Penny and co, and just today David, Lara and Olivia have been here, it was wonderful to see them all again. I gave David our Summer Exhibition Book and our Guide to Venice book, and I asked him to choose one of your pictures, he took my favourite, the one at Callalla de Parafugel.
He was very touched and found it hard to take it from me, but my darling John I want all of your pictures to go to the children and the grandchildren, so that your memory will live on in all of them.
My minds eye
Helo John
my communications with you are becoming less and less in this blog,but not in my mind.
A few weeks ago I was at Mann Island choir and we had to sing " you raise me up " I cried and lot and felt your loss keenly, this is how you made me feel and still do.
You raise me up so I can stand on Mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy Seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders,you raise me up to all that I can be.
Since then ,I have been feeling stronger, feeling that ,thanks to your unconditional love and acceptance. I can stand on my own two feet, grateful for all we had all you gave me all you left me.
You are getting further away in my minds eye, I see you in the distance , half turned between looking back at me , waving smiling, and half ready to move on to where ever your adventure leads you.
You are the love of my life, I love you as much as ever, and I am OK, in love and gratitude
Helen TT xx
my communications with you are becoming less and less in this blog,but not in my mind.
A few weeks ago I was at Mann Island choir and we had to sing " you raise me up " I cried and lot and felt your loss keenly, this is how you made me feel and still do.
You raise me up so I can stand on Mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy Seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders,you raise me up to all that I can be.
Since then ,I have been feeling stronger, feeling that ,thanks to your unconditional love and acceptance. I can stand on my own two feet, grateful for all we had all you gave me all you left me.
You are getting further away in my minds eye, I see you in the distance , half turned between looking back at me , waving smiling, and half ready to move on to where ever your adventure leads you.
You are the love of my life, I love you as much as ever, and I am OK, in love and gratitude
Helen TT xx
Tuesday 27 March 2018
David's memories of our Wedding and our lives together!
Hi Helen,
Well 30 years is such a long time for all of us. I was 15 I guess, although when i look at the photos I look so much younger than that. I look at myself then and I seem to be such a little boy, not sure of what is really going on but enjoying it none the less.
I remember buses, umbrellas, chips, ferries, buskers and lots of love. I remember big imperial buildings and big empowering emotions. It was a good time in my memory.
There are associations that I still try and define with dad and in later years with you and him together. I can't quite put my finger on what I really remember or feel so I will try just putting down words and memories: the oily crispy pizza in the Everyman restaurant years ago before they renovated it, the Chekov room before I knew who Chekov was, the Edinburgh festival when it was an idea of an apartment with artistic people and wine nothing more, the farm with cherry trees and haystacks, errant cows and fields of corn, a basement kitchen with candelabras and salads, assertiveness workshops, a first taste of acting, performance as something to be proud of, a guitar and amp from a Liverpool actor.
I know these might all seem like random thoughts but to me they are just a few memories that build up an picture of you and dad together, it is rich, complex and hard to define. It is though something that has lodged in my soul and it informs me everyday and guides me everyday as an artist and a manager.
You were always both an inspiration to me. 30 years on and still influencing those who love you.
David x
Well 30 years is such a long time for all of us. I was 15 I guess, although when i look at the photos I look so much younger than that. I look at myself then and I seem to be such a little boy, not sure of what is really going on but enjoying it none the less.
I remember buses, umbrellas, chips, ferries, buskers and lots of love. I remember big imperial buildings and big empowering emotions. It was a good time in my memory.
There are associations that I still try and define with dad and in later years with you and him together. I can't quite put my finger on what I really remember or feel so I will try just putting down words and memories: the oily crispy pizza in the Everyman restaurant years ago before they renovated it, the Chekov room before I knew who Chekov was, the Edinburgh festival when it was an idea of an apartment with artistic people and wine nothing more, the farm with cherry trees and haystacks, errant cows and fields of corn, a basement kitchen with candelabras and salads, assertiveness workshops, a first taste of acting, performance as something to be proud of, a guitar and amp from a Liverpool actor.
I know these might all seem like random thoughts but to me they are just a few memories that build up an picture of you and dad together, it is rich, complex and hard to define. It is though something that has lodged in my soul and it informs me everyday and guides me everyday as an artist and a manager.
You were always both an inspiration to me. 30 years on and still influencing those who love you.
David x
Tuesday 26 December 2017
Christmas 2017 boxing day
Darling John,
hard to believe that it is almost 3 years since you died and left me forever. Still hurts not to see your happy smiling face, filled with love for me.
I have spent time with Penny and family, Johnny and family in the run up to Christmas and we had good fun and we missed you,I think we always will you were such a gentle benign presence in all our lives.
I took part in a lot of festive events and enjoyed them , and thought each time, how much you would have enjoyed them too.
I had Christmas lunch with Andrew and Lucy yesterday ,I thought the day went very well, they were both a little stressed with all the responsibility, but they needn't have been ,there are always a few hitches, on Christmas day. I think it was a success.
Love and miss you my darling, wish I could see you and hug you and laugh with you again.
Your ever loving wife, Helen TT xx
hard to believe that it is almost 3 years since you died and left me forever. Still hurts not to see your happy smiling face, filled with love for me.
I have spent time with Penny and family, Johnny and family in the run up to Christmas and we had good fun and we missed you,I think we always will you were such a gentle benign presence in all our lives.
I took part in a lot of festive events and enjoyed them , and thought each time, how much you would have enjoyed them too.
I had Christmas lunch with Andrew and Lucy yesterday ,I thought the day went very well, they were both a little stressed with all the responsibility, but they needn't have been ,there are always a few hitches, on Christmas day. I think it was a success.
Love and miss you my darling, wish I could see you and hug you and laugh with you again.
Your ever loving wife, Helen TT xx
Wednesday 25 October 2017
Almost our 30th
Darling John
I don't blog very much now.
I talk to you at the tree at Sefton Park,in my head, at bedtime, and about you as often as possible.
I miss you ,naturally enough, but especially as we come up to our 30th wedding anniversary. The memories come flooding back about that lovely day and out happy life together.
Patsy and Kev ,Liz and Phil are coming over on the 31st to raise a glass to us.
That will be that last public thing I do to remember you my darling.I will always remember you as will the children.
I have seen a lot of the children this year, David and Lara and Olivia in Hong Kong and in Cambridge, Johnny and Ellie Archie and Martha many time in London and Cambridge, and Penny Steve Kate Johnny Felix and Harry the same many times all in Cambridge for them.
I see lots of Andrew and Lucy, thankfully, they are happily settled into life in their new home in Woolton. A place I came to know very well, when you were there twice for many months.
I rather like it now, I still have a wee pang for you when I am there.
Philip is now in Taiwan, he is enjoying it and at the same time reality is creeping in and he can see the cracks at the school now.
I miss him and would love to visit with him next year, possible with David and Lara and Olivia too.
That would be something. I have not been sleeping too well and feeling a little under par, I am pretty sure it is connected with the upcoming wedding anniversary.It brings up so many feeling of loss and conversely happy memories and feelings.
I carry on seeing my clients and Artist's Way groups, I know and hear my work makes a difference and I like that.
I see friends and family .I am learning the piano thanks to Andrew giving me some money from his shares :-) I bought a keyboard ;with the help of Tony , he is my piano teacher-he is very good.
I have joined the Liverpool Community Choir and I am back learning Spanish on a Saturday afternoon.
I am enjoying all those things, settling into the new ones gradually, I am wondering if this is to be my life now, is there something else I have to do what is my destiny now that you have gone, I believe we were destined to be together my love. Thank god we met.
I love you I miss you TT Helen xxx
I don't blog very much now.
I talk to you at the tree at Sefton Park,in my head, at bedtime, and about you as often as possible.
I miss you ,naturally enough, but especially as we come up to our 30th wedding anniversary. The memories come flooding back about that lovely day and out happy life together.
Patsy and Kev ,Liz and Phil are coming over on the 31st to raise a glass to us.
That will be that last public thing I do to remember you my darling.I will always remember you as will the children.
I have seen a lot of the children this year, David and Lara and Olivia in Hong Kong and in Cambridge, Johnny and Ellie Archie and Martha many time in London and Cambridge, and Penny Steve Kate Johnny Felix and Harry the same many times all in Cambridge for them.
I see lots of Andrew and Lucy, thankfully, they are happily settled into life in their new home in Woolton. A place I came to know very well, when you were there twice for many months.
I rather like it now, I still have a wee pang for you when I am there.
Philip is now in Taiwan, he is enjoying it and at the same time reality is creeping in and he can see the cracks at the school now.
I miss him and would love to visit with him next year, possible with David and Lara and Olivia too.
That would be something. I have not been sleeping too well and feeling a little under par, I am pretty sure it is connected with the upcoming wedding anniversary.It brings up so many feeling of loss and conversely happy memories and feelings.
I carry on seeing my clients and Artist's Way groups, I know and hear my work makes a difference and I like that.
I see friends and family .I am learning the piano thanks to Andrew giving me some money from his shares :-) I bought a keyboard ;with the help of Tony , he is my piano teacher-he is very good.
I have joined the Liverpool Community Choir and I am back learning Spanish on a Saturday afternoon.
I am enjoying all those things, settling into the new ones gradually, I am wondering if this is to be my life now, is there something else I have to do what is my destiny now that you have gone, I believe we were destined to be together my love. Thank god we met.
I love you I miss you TT Helen xxx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)