I find this all very hard. I thought I would be super woman, in fact, I feel very fragile.
I am OK dispensing the medication, although I feel the responsibility of that,weighs heavy at times.I don't even mind emptying the bottle, doing the laundry, laying out clothes.
I do mind, the invasion of the carers, the hospital visits, the ever changing situation, the constant visitors.
I hate Mersey Julie Ann, they are a stressed out organisation,and that impacts on me and then on John.
I have too much responsibility ,too much on my shoulders. I have to register with a new agencies, tomorrow, maybe, but i can't face it. I hate the conversations, I hate feeling patronised.
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
would like to blog more.
I thought when I started this blog I would blog everyday. But I have not, I have not read either, or made anything apart from a few scarves and a few birthday cards.I do not feel creative for now. I have to concentrate on the everyday, the ordinary, although not all that ordinary for me. Carers coming in each morning, getting John's every growing medication correct, laundry, cooking, which I only feel like doing occasionally.
My own needs have been ignored and as a result I have needed to catch up with blood tests, seems I am short on Vitamin D, a bone scan has now been done, no results yet. Eye test has been done by my lovely optician, as I had to cancel my appointment at the eye hospital.All ok for now. DV.
My arms and lower back have been very sore, I was concerned the Polymyalgia had returned, but beth has given me a good treatment, and I have a lot of stress in my body which she has worked on and will again on Tuesday.I think the extreme pain has subsided.
Since John has been home from hospital,I have had a lot more to do, taking care of him, but also coping with carers, visitors ,social workers, nurses coming and going.
I am not sure I will ever adjust to this scenario, but am coping better.
John has some new symptoms this week, and he will need another scan. This upset both of us.I cried after the doctor called me, called Sandra, cried over the phone to her, then tidied myself up and saw John home and met Michelle the Abby Care woman.
John was a bit shook by the news too.
I opened the blinds last night, lit some candles and fairy lights and we watched the fireworks display, we had a wee cry and a wee talk about how we were after the latest news. Then we watched the end of the football. A draw.
My own needs have been ignored and as a result I have needed to catch up with blood tests, seems I am short on Vitamin D, a bone scan has now been done, no results yet. Eye test has been done by my lovely optician, as I had to cancel my appointment at the eye hospital.All ok for now. DV.
My arms and lower back have been very sore, I was concerned the Polymyalgia had returned, but beth has given me a good treatment, and I have a lot of stress in my body which she has worked on and will again on Tuesday.I think the extreme pain has subsided.
Since John has been home from hospital,I have had a lot more to do, taking care of him, but also coping with carers, visitors ,social workers, nurses coming and going.
I am not sure I will ever adjust to this scenario, but am coping better.
John has some new symptoms this week, and he will need another scan. This upset both of us.I cried after the doctor called me, called Sandra, cried over the phone to her, then tidied myself up and saw John home and met Michelle the Abby Care woman.
John was a bit shook by the news too.
I opened the blinds last night, lit some candles and fairy lights and we watched the fireworks display, we had a wee cry and a wee talk about how we were after the latest news. Then we watched the end of the football. A draw.
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