Just heard the first gay Asian men on Radio 4 on the eve of their wedding, they will be the first gay Asian couples in the world to get married legally tomorrow. Subod and Naranga is what their names sound like.
Lovely moment to share.
My card arrived to Mike this morning, Penny says he was very moved.God bless him,he has a tough time ahead.
I have booked our flights for Spain . June 3rd at 19 .15 Really looking forward to it.Sandra will come out for a week- happy about that.

Hoping to have the date for my weekend with Philip soon.

We now know Maureen's funeral will be two weeks from now.

I hope to visit Scotland in May too. Jackie is planning a family night while I am there. Good stuff.

I have 80% of the work done for tomorrow's workshop, so I can have a fairly relaxing morning doing last minute things I love this group and this work especially.

Sunday is Mother's day, I have always had mixed feelings about this day, but this year, I actually felt sad that mum was gone,and as my boys seem very genuine about wanting to spend time with me on this day I find myself looking forward to it. Let the day unfold, let other take charge, that is good for me what I need to do more of.

I loved Twelfth Night what a great feel good ending in the new lovely Everyman. I also loved Grand |Budapest Hotel.

I am feeling better physically than I was mid week, but still a bit fragile, very tired, still slightly nauseous

but trusting in Beth treatments, the other treatments that she has recommended,and I am going to go for counselling again. Not been since Mum died.

I must take care of myself, I will be 66  this year and have had a huge amount of pressure over the last four years. Sandra is beginning to feel the effects of the years too.

We really need to look after ourselves and each other,thank goodness we have found each other again.

All shall be well
and all shall be well
and all manner of things shall be well.

March 27th

I have just heard in the last hour that Maureen died this morning.

She was a bright light in the world, last time I saw her was at David and Lara's wedding she was radiant with happiness and looked great in her white furry Russian style hat.

She was a fellow Scot and we amicably shared her three children.Who are all a great credit to her.

Go in peace Maureen ,safe home. I will keep an eye on your children , it will be my great pleasure.

Sun is shining !

Yesterday I went to Beth for  my treatment, she  used some new tools and although I felt quite nauseous yesterday and slept for about 18 hours I feel much better today.

My foot feels much better which is good because I have missed walking in the park. and my arms are a bit better too, I miss knitting and writing and all the things which are good for me and manage my stress levels.

Feeling better and the sunshine lifts my spirits, and thankfully I will be able to go to Everyman tonight to see Twelfth Night, yesterday I was not sure this would be possible.

I still have huge responsibility for everything and sometimes I feel it on my shoulders.

I think all five of us take on a lot of responsibility, maybe the Collins gene..

John is at the hospital today to see the oncologist. I hope he will ask about us going to Spain, I really would love to have the flights booked.

Maureen is really ill the last few days, Penny feels sure this is the truth this time, she and Johnny take day about being with her and Mike, they are great kids.

I don't know how they do it with all they have to do with their own families, very good partners of course.

I think waiting for Maureen's death is making it hard to make other plans it seems so heartless.

Although Johnny and Penny still ask us to plan the next visit.

  I hope Philip will get back to me with dates for our weekend away soon, then I can make plans for John's travel, then I can join him as I did last time. Matthew and Marie are keen for us to visit too, prepared to move beds downstairs for John, so kind as John would like to go there.
I miss my family, siblings and partners, and their children, now we have Lachlan Matthew, really looking forward to meeting with him, wee soul.

Phil has painted the stove and got the cot out and cleaned it. I am very grateful to him.

Philip's things have arrived in Castlenel which is good news.

This means that we can trust the driver, and can now get the bed and the screen over too.



 I had to cancel work yesterday, have not done that for years and years, but needs must.

I want to have the energy for Last Saturday Event ,this Saturday. I have six people and am really looking forward to seeing them all and  encouraging their creative ideas and plans.

It was Anita and Philip's golden wedding on march 25th ,congratulations to them, it would have been Susan and Gavin's on March 10th.

It is Anne and Henry's in Early April. I think it is fantastic that they have stayed together through all of life trials and tribulations.
 Not an easy thing to do.
Of all life's challenges I think , as does Adler, the" relationship "is the hardest to sustain.
Work and Friends and Purpose etc are challenges but seemingly a bit less demanding, a bit of a generalisation of course.I am sure that in some cases the relationship is what allows us to face the challenges in the other areas. it has been for John and I thankfully.

All shall be well
and all shall be well,
and all manner of things shall be well.


And so it is!

Day off after a very busy two weeks!

Man U won last night which is very cheering.
This is the fist day that I have had nothing in the diary for a long time. I stayed in bed late drinking tea , doing morning pages , journals ect. Browsing on the net ,found a £35 tablet but did not buy it in the end. I am actually looking forward to having my computer fixed up by Andrew.
Also looking forward to  better weather and watching my garden grow.

I am still suffering with painful arms and foot, the doctors have given me painkillers which are helpful sometimes,but I need a better solutions.
It reminds me of the time I had Polymyalgia , painful mornings till the meds kick in. It does get me down at times when neither of us can do simple tasks,like carrying bags of earth or even some morning lifting the duvet is painful.

I hope between Beth and the GP it will all turn out well.

John's befriend-er came today, it was not in the diary, John forgot he was coming, then the guy to service the hospital bed came too about two weeks late. It got me down as this was my one day to have some down time. Still! worse things happened in the war.

I am trying to plan my weekend with Philip , ( he won this at work) but with Maureen being so ill I don't like to impose on Penny and Johnny to care for John, but we do have lots of green vouchers so if \john can put up with it we can have an all night cared here.

I want to go to Glasgow to see the family, especially to meet little Lachlan.

I want to plan our trip to Spain but not sure if John is really up for this he is a bit unsure.

It will be busy if we go, and fun too, but if not, I hope John can have a longer time in London and Sandra and I can go, just the two of us. I would enjoy that a lot.

I enjoyed The Book Thief last week, an afternoon at the cinema on my own, bliss.

I enjoyed seeing Andrew on Saturday and Sunday, we watched Zodiac which I really enjoyed.

I enjoyed going to Salford to see Philip, although he was quite hung over and tired, but we did manage a nice hour catching up.

I enjoyed going to Host with Andrew Lucy and John on Sunday evening.


Looking forward to going to Fact with J&A&L tomorrow night.

There are always good things ,sometimes we have to remember that especially when we are tired, feeling unwell, or the news gets you down.


Maureen is very much in my thoughts right now and all her children who I loved spending time with a few weeks ago, I wish David was closer or that I could go to visit with him, he must feel so lost being so far away, when his mum is dying.

Everything is as it should be,
nothing is at it seems.

It is a mystery.