The little colon book !

I have been feeling very fragile this last few days- John has been in hospital since two weeks today.

Since he went in it has been a roller coaster of business and emotions for me.

Birthday weekend was fantastic- my boys and Lucy organised a great weekend for me with them and the Matthew Collins family.

I felt the loss when they all left- but it was much worse when Andrew and Lucy left for their three week holiday-they are my close family support and have been through out everything.

Quite quickly Phil started work on the bathroom so he was coming in every day and it is what I want but it was  still an upheaval for me.

I ordered the dishwasher which comes on Friday and with good luck Phil will be here to fit it-then it is done !

I got the mirror and shower curtain they are up now - look great we have a few more things to get but it can take time now.

I cancelled a few sessions- but I did have a long three hour meeting in Fact with M & M about plans for the Toolbox. They are great young woman and I appreciate there love and support as well as their ideas and energy.

John is very up and down -he has had an injection yesterday to help with the pain ;lets hope it works well until the appointment with Dr Edrington.

I am easily in tears and feel quite fragile- things that I usually take in my stride and breaking me up- the boiler was not working this morning and I felt devastated -under the circumstances it seems a bit over the top- but it is not the central heating it is everything building up.I do worry more about John this time -don't know why it feels much harder than last year.

I am on top of Christmas shopping and have ordered a new pair of boots and shoes for me- all Autum winter clothes now hanging in wardrobe-  and summer things packed away- I think I am finding things to do to take my mind off the uncertainty of our  reality .

I have made five Christmas cakes and a tray of my Christmas chocolates-

I have had sever pains in my stomach and gut-can't eat much- and can only sip water and tea.

Happily when I went to see Beth to-day she had just come back from a course all about the colon.

So there and then she gave me the new treatment- it was painful at times but hopefully will be worth it.The treatment also made me feel a bit more grounded.


Tony , Philip's friend, came today to collect the couches-so happily, the cellar is cleared of his things and the lounge feels much bigger -Tony asked after John and told me he had lost his mother to cancer-poor young man- lovely though.


All shall be well

and all shall be well

and all manner of things shall be well.......................and so it is.