Halloween 28th wedding anniversary-scattering your ashes!

Darling John

how I miss you.

We had a beautiful day on Saturday our 28th wedding anniversary and the day we scattered your ashes in Sefton Park.

I wakened early and just cried and cried, last year at this time you were with us..in Marie Curie , you rang me very early that morning to wish me a happy anniversary,,,you were amazing to remember that..

We always reminisced about our wonderful wedding day and this year those of us left reminisced once more.

I decorated the house with our familiar Halloween decorations, I bought beautiful flowers which you would have done in the past....I had candles and incense burning for you my dear love.

It was a beautiful autumn day sunshine and colour.

The family gathered here and close friends, Andrew ,Lucy, Penny, Johnny ,Patsy ,Kev and Liz and me.

We listened to your writings, Andrew read what you wrote about  what you wished for your ashes in Liverpool, he did well, he felt a bit anxious as he did the day of your funeral, but he got through it in tact, and thoughtful.
Penny read your musing on miracles on the micro level, she was as ever thoughtful about your words and full of mirth too.

Johnny read your writing from our 20th wedding anniversary,,,he did very well too., serious thoughtful

Patsy recorded and played to all of us  My Love is Like a Red Red Rose- she has a beatiful voice...the song broke me up..I think I cried all the way through it...we both loved that song, and of course it was Anita's favourite song too so it had a powerful impact.on me. I felt Andrew's hand on me as I cried and it was comforting, almost like you holding me.

Kev read" Sometimes I forget," it is a beautiful song, he read it a a poem and it was very powerful and it captures exactly how I feel, and I would say most of us in the room feel.

Liz talked about many of your conversation with her at Marie Curie, she was a bit shook but she said what she wanted to say in time- she wore the hat that you bought  for her in Ireland for the event.

Lucy was quiet- taking it all in and much affected by it all, she loved you.

We all love you....there is a line  in the sone My love is like a red red rose.....".so deep in love am I " that is me darling John still deeply in love with you.


I talked  a bit about our time at the farm songs we played, your proposal at the summer exhibition, out post cards...poverty and a bowl of cherries.....and the day we scattered your ashes in Argyle..

I read David's email describing how he was thinking of you as he flew over the south china sea...and how he thought of us at Universal Studios when drinking Butterbeer at Hogwarts..

Philip sent love to everyone, and sent me a good few private messages to make sure I was Ok,,,

Sandra Jackie, Matthew Marie, Gary and Wendy all sent messages,and lots of Irish friends, and Artist's way friends....sent loving messages, of course many had no idea we were scattering your ashes, but remembered our wedding anniversary..

Susan sent loving messages, and dear Libby,she always thinks of us as I do her..as it is her birthday.

And of course dear Robert sent a message he was thinking of me,,,,he misses you John,,,,we all do.


Each  reading and memory lead to more memories and sharing -it was funny too...stories of you are still making us laugh even now...still making life a bowl of cherries, encouraging us to look at the bigger picture....look through your telescope...thank god for you.


We went across to Helen's beech tree and each one of us scattered some of you ashes under and around the tree....then we went to our Christmas Tree depositing spot...and scattered your ashes there too....again each one of us.

I read the last verse of The Joy of Living before we started, we all talked ,some laughed, some cried and some did both...we ended with a group hug, and we passed a kiss around the group//and slowly we left and drifted back to Ullet Road --- then we all went to what was El Macho for lunch , thanks to Lucy who thought of us all going back to Hope Street..it was such a good idea and we had a room to ourselves....you would have loved it....I hope you were there...certainly there was a strong feeling that you were in our mists....

so my darling husband..I have carried out your wishes, you are flying free in Argyle and in Sefton Park....and I will join you in both places one day.

So deep in love am I.......TT.........your ever loving wife......Helen....

( or Collins as you liked to call me ) peace to you beloved John where ever you are x

PS I am doing ok.