Past midsummer

Hello darling.

I have been visiting your tree in the park, dad's too.it is comforting to visit you both over there.

Life has been busy, I have been to Glasgow and back since I last checked in, Julie's wedding was delightful ,very romantic ceremony which I managed to get to in the nick of time.The party was lovely and most of the family were there. Andrew Lucy Philip and I had a lovely apartment in West Princes Street which we all enjoyed and we did a lot in the few days that we were there.Cinema, Walk along the Kelvin, football, family gathering, Botanic Gardens.

Philip and I stayed over ,after A&L left ,at Premier Inn at Charing Cross and we went up to Balloch for Philip's birthday meal.had drinks with S&H the a meal in a gastro pub, on The Leven.

I have run a few day workshops, which went well. I continue walking and doing my Jane Fonda, see friends for coffee's been to the theatre , especially enjoyed Bill Baily at the Phil with A&L.

Philip comes and goes from Manchester, which i enjoy,like the old days....we all miss you though....we don't always say it but it is around in the ether.

I have been to visit Johnny Ellie Archie and Martha, and that was a delightful weekend, during which Penny and co, came for a BBQ.

Penny is moving house, after a bit of stress, but it is done now.

I have been feeding  a friend's chickens while they were on holiday, I got lots of eggs,and did a lot of baking, with the eggs, so lots of cakes in the freezer, and made a big Dundee cake and sent most of it to the grand children, apparently it went down well.

I have been to Manchester a few times to see Philip, have rarely been since he left, felt quite normal, it will be a shock when he goes back to Beijing.I always think of you on the journey, we went quite often together to visit with Philip back in the day.

I am just back from Sophie and Nick's wedding, it was a lovely event too, the ceremony was not as lovely as Julie's as it was in the Catholic church in Warwick and the priest, is probably bi polar.The rest of the wedding was happy joyful and good fun.

I ran another workshop on Monday for a mother and her three daughters.....fascinating from an Adlerian perspective. I enjoyed it , but after the wedding weekend, I have been left very tired, feel like I am coming down with a bug yet it is not coming to anything, just very tired, and lethargic.

I had coffee with Philip C yesterday, he is getting himself ready for the stone setting on Sunday, Anita's brother Bent is arriving today and Charlottie too. He seems so frail and a bit confused about some things,at times; other times, he is just like himself.

I miss you, I think I feel it more as time goes on, the initial love and support from family and friends  has moved away a little as it must ,folk must get on with their lives, as indeed I need do....the love and care are still very much there for me when I am with people I am very very blessed...I know that..and it makes a big difference to me.I just don't know what is next, what do I want to do with the rest of my life....without you...and alone,which I am ok with, sometimes I feel a bit lonely, but for you my love.

The whole country seems sad and angry as we have voted to leave the EU we are fragmented and shaken.

I wish you were here to somehow make it ok, say "never mind hen, lets have a cup of tea, " "lets have a glass of wine, " "fancy going out for lunch?"  give me a big bear hug.

Bright side, Lara is coming home soon, she is pregnant with your latest grand daughter, I have known for a while but did not want to mention it here in case this blog is read, unlikely as it seems, you never know.

I am having a gathering here of some friends to meet up with Philip on 14th July,.. Lara A&L and P on 21st July and we have Andrew's 46th birthday celebration on 23rd July....I am also having a gathering of Artist's Way students , on July 16th.- today it all feels to hard, but I am sure my energy will come back before all this starts up. I miss us doing these events together,,,,sharing the preparations , then the event and the afters  of the events, is much more fun... I love you John, love of my life, I miss you, and I always will...Helen...TT xx