Tearful conversation at FACT and philosophy

We went to FACT today while Lynn cleaned the apartment , we just had coffee as we did not feel hungry.
We had a deep conversation, John telling me how much he is enjoying this Christmas as it is likely to be his last one.

It is what most of us are thinking, hearing John saying it out loud, went right through me.I was very tearful. We have not had a deep and meaningful for a while and as time goes on you put it to the back of your mind.
It was ok though, and we went on to talk about our good fortune our sense of gratitude to have had the time we have had together, for our amazing children, their partners and the grand children.For La Comparsa, and our Scottish heritage, and other things too.

I wondered if John had thought about what happens after you die, we have had this conversation many times over the years.

In the end we both agreed no one knows ,but it is good to move towards the end of life with an opened mind ,a sense of curiosity.Why not? this attitude of curiosity keeps away despair for many folk.
For me at this stage, I like the idea of peace perfect peace in death.Who knows what I will think when I approach death, I mean ,if I know it is close.

I hope one of the children has the courage to talk to me about it , at that time, or any time to be honest, although I think people who examine their lives, who are willing to change and grow, will have changing thoughts over their lifetimes.

I like listening to people ideas of what it might be like, without judgement and with respect. It is more common for people to hold their own belief so dear( in most things) ,that they cannot hear or tolerate another persons ideas. Maybe they feel threatened. I suppose as a counsellor for over 30 years I have got into the way of listening to others with respect and curiosity and can honour that and I do not feel threatened.




I am not thinking of fanatics and zealots of course. I am thinking of people in my orbit who think in different ways from me.I do occasionally change my thinking as a result of being open to others, or sometimes it can confirm my own way of thinking when I listen to others.

So dear blog, we do not have the answers to many of life questions, yet talking , writing, blogging and listening to others, helps  us (me) understand ourselves ( myself ) more.

John is sleeping now, I am calmer.

All shall be well,
and all shall be well,
and all manner of things shall be well.


And so it is!