9th May Blessings way day.

Hello John

I am home now- I enjoyed my visit to Glasgow and as ever I am glad to be home again.

I met Anita yesterday at The Bluecoat- she said that I looked better than she has seen me for a long time which made me feel better- I know I have looked drawn a lot of the time and my eyes look sad and sore.

She thinks I have turned a corner-I hope so- when I came home the other night- It was the first time that I came in from a few days away- and did not cry- I looked at your pictures and your writing and your things- and I felt a little stronger.

I am perpetually tired more tired that I feel I ought to be-- but then I remember grief is exhausting - I have not slept well the last two nights-- so feel more tired today.

I am still expecting to hear a date for when Johnny and Penny are coming- I would like them to come now and take what they want to take- it feels it is time to say good bye to your clothes and papers- the ones that I don't want to keep.

Especially as we are so short of space here in this flat.

Phil has been here to put the block on the water drips under the windows in the lounge- he has stopped the radiators leaking too- and the boiler has been serviced- a nice young man Richie did it he remember you and said you were a nice man-- we soul I cried when I told him that you had died in December--- he was sweet -turns out he is a Jehovah's Witness- but sweet none the less and gentle.

Phil will do some painting in the house and garden in when I am in Scotland with Sandra and Jackie.


Today Beth has organised a blessings way for me- remember I did one for her when she was pregnant with Anoushka..

I am a bit nervous as I don't know what she has organised or who is coming- but I know it is all loving people- and it is about helping me through this transition period..

Andrew and Lucy will call in at 7.00 and they will have a bit of time saying hello to everyone- before they leave and we have our evening together...I will let you know how it goes.

I feel very tired and do not know whether to go for a lie down or a walk- can't decide what is best for me.

It is a big day today- would like to have some energy to process it all and enjoy it too.


I love you darling- thanks for you love and care all through our time together...TT Helen xx