Hello darling.
where are you my love ? wish I could see you ,talk to you ,take your advice.
This week Johnny came and we had a very emotional day looking at your things- clothes writings possessions of all kinds.
Johnny looks well he has lost some weight and it suits him- we were both sad yet comforted by being together talking about you- remember many things about your time in Marie Curie his visits- our regular contact.We both miss it.
Johnny has taken everything with him- he had to borrow a case- he had two cases and two shoulder bags--by the time we had done the packing- we did not feel too much like having lunch- we had a little soup and it was time for the cab to come and whisk him away.
When the train puled out I felt sad and that I had made a mistake- I was being dis- loyal to you by not keeping everything. crazy I know- but grief is crazy- or magical thinking as I like to call it.
For the first time since you left us- I asked Andrew and Lucy to come round for a glass of wine with me- I felt the need to have them with me for a little while- I don't like to make demands- but that was hard -like losing you again......and they came god bless them at 9o'clock at night- it was good though I felt better talking to them and telling them about the day...and it helped me make more sense of my feelings.
The following day it was Laura's talk at Fact- and that was emotional too- but not so raw as the day before. Laura was excellent- she said a lot about the photographers and the project that you did together- she was very inclusive and gave you lots of credit- she loved you- she really misses you - as so many of us do.
I am going to Spain soon- that is going to be hard - going there with out you my love.
I have things to do first though- tonight I am going to Lark lane to have dinner with Philip and Anita at the Greek restaurant.
Tomorrow Andrew and Lucy are taking me out for dinner- don't know where -it is a surprise :-)
I hope to go to the docks tomorrow to see the Queens....Tuesday I am taking Beth out for her (late) birthday lunch.I have a client on Tuesday evening- then I am off on Wednesday- I get into Glasgow about 6.00 Pm. Thursday I will go for a massage at the palce near Sandra ---and on Friday we are off- and hopefully Frank will be there to meet us....
I will talk to you from Glasgow or Castlenel-- maybe even before I leave....see what happens...love you John miss you so much--- TT.
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