23 February 2016

Hello darling John

Yesterday I celebrated the 33 rd anniversary or our meeting by going on the Mersey Ferry and having lunch at The Tate ( a cheese toastie)for you .
I enjoyed the day which was greatly helped by beautiful blue skies and sunshine . I remembered our wedding day as well as reliving our meeting day - I was especially thinking of the coffees and lunches we had in the Tate's previous coffee shop which I preferred it was upstairs with a view over the water.
I am doing ok , miss you wish we could have wee chats . I imagine that you can hear  the thoughts in my head when I talk to you .
Johnny said to me in a text that he has daffodils all through the house in your honour - I am sure he will be telling the children of the daffodils abounding the day he was born - as I retell Andrew the story of The Wonder of You - the first song I heard after he was born - The traditions of telling our family history goes on i have started writing a few stories about you , us ,for the grand children - children too . It matters to me and I imagine to them too, even if not now, in time. I bought myself a beginners art book at Tate and a raincoat that you can keep in your bag - I will think of you when I wear it as  it was bought on 23/2 ❤️
Sam and Richard are not too well I will light candles for them and hold a good thought for them and Roy too . Life requires us to be strong  enough to face the tough things the hard diagnosis and challenges and conversely embrace the wonder of life and folk that we love and the beauty and joy all around us . It is easy for the sea saw of life to be weighted in one direction or the other - staying too much with the tough things and awfulising life or avoiding the hard things and being a Pollyanna all the time . Balance is the secret flowing between all life's experiences openly and being genuine .
Ok enough philosophy - how about this I pronounce Eco - echo - is that a Scottish thing ? Or because of the Eco park in castalla - and does it really matter ?

I talked to Phil about getting the house in the boys names before we die as it will be a right fankle for the boys to sort out after we are gone .I was expecting a some resistance but surprisingly - he agreed to look into it. . I want to leave things in order it is so hard to face loss without all the practical things that have to be dealt with . I would like to have things so that they know what is what and what my wishes are .
I like to think that when I die I will be with you again - it is a nice idea- like the Christmas story !

 I wonder what I will be up to on our 34 th anniversary ' if I am spared' as mum would say.

Love forever - TT Helen x