Recovery time.

What a mixed time we had in Castlenel, so much joy so much appreciation of the old house and all we have done. Family fun with the new pizza oven.
Neighbours and local people making a fuss of us ,just being there in lovley Castalla.

Then our cleaning lady asked for a raise and all hell broke lose.

I made the mistake of agreeing to it, a mere few euro a week, much more than we spend on a round of coffees.

That got BP up in arms, not just that he disagreed with me, but such aggression, and a horrible destructive way of putting his point across.

I also hear from him, I am unable to peel potatoes, load the dishwasher, I leave the taps running in the Jardin , which costs A FORTUNE, I asked if we could have the a/c on in his room to help boost the heat in LA, answer NO. I was shouted at because I stripped my bed and left MY room as I like to leave it went I leave Castlenel.

He was very unkind about Sara, and my arrangements with her. He expects me to have magical powers to know what she has to do when he is in the house for  five months in winter.

He wants special arrangements for Frank , we have to use him to taxi us around, we are encouraged to buy him Christmas gifts,and Sophie too,who has nothing to do with La comparsa.

  Sara's loyal contribution, week in week out, seems to go unnoticed or criticised.

I have always made sure the boys could always be in the same room with us since the divorce, did not want them to feel awkward, and they do not as far as I understand it. But it has been at a cost to me. Phil treats me badly, a lot. Critical , uses put downs, corrects what I do.

They are big people now, I have to take care of myself and John.

I wonder what gave BP him the idea I am going to do what he demands, or even asks .I have my own views, my own way of doing things. He thinks shouting or sulking will get him what he wants, and sadly all too often, it works for him.

I have not asked for much from La comparsa, Sophie's terrace for my plants, a new bathroom, and a cleaning woman.


I have supported others projects, in the " Spirit of La comparsa" but it has not been appreciated, simply expected.

I really have no use or need of a Pizza oven, would much prefer a stove or money towards the bathroom.But I have been supportive.

When I ask for a few euro for Sara, it causes a rammy! So where is the spirit of la comparsa from BP?

No where in sight, nowhere on the horizon.

The amount of discomfort that this last visit caused me and worse John, has brought me to my limit.

I have a long fuse, but once I reach the end of it. Bas Halas- Finish.

He was upset that Scott told Carmen not he help him anymore.It did not occur to him he needs to pay for their help.Good grief I paid Christina and Scott, 150 euro for their help getting a good dentist and making appointments and taking me there, worth every penny.

If you have a generosity of spirit, by enlarge it makes life happier, oftentimes it comes back to you in unexpected ways.If not ,so what.We do not do it to get things back we do it " just because" it feels good or it is the right thing to do for another person.


If I want something , I just pay for it. Dad's window, which in fact I decided to get because Phil was complaining of the cold. I could have gone to Australia with that money.

I am glad I honoured Dad but even so, I meant well ,that Phil would be warmer in winter.

And I feel good because it looks lovely and everyone benefits.


I got John's room done, which not only benefited La Comparsa, it gave Phil an interest over the winter, and work for local folk.Which is important to me. 

We went to Castlenel for John , it was an important week, and BP seemed on the one hand try to be kind to John, and on the other hand, seemed unable to put himself aside and just lighten up.
Certainly with me and especially after Sara asked for more money.

His response the second time I brought up Sara, at the cafe, which I thought would be safer, was very alarming for John, he went so white, and had the flashing lights in his eyes ,he gets them under stress, thankfully he had a good long sleep when we got home, and wakened up feeling a bit better but very tired.

I felt so crushed, I could not have a row, but I felt like it, and still do,as John would have been badly affected by it, and Philip was trying so hard to fix it, to mediate. 

And in my experience, BP is basically unreasonable till he gets his own way, or he declares his unhappiness, and everyone is affected by this.TWAS ever thus.
If things go his way he is all sweetness and light.


On this journey that John and I are on, we need plenty of loving family and friends around us, or time in a tranquil atmosphere to be together and enjoy what time we have,,and even then it is a tough road.

We do not need BP and his irrational thinking and behaviour. We need to be much more robust before we can tolerate him in our lives.

We were only home an hour, when Brian emailed to say, I see from facebook that you are working on Saturday, would John like a trip to Dobbies, and he did, and they went off, leaving me to enjoy my afternoon.

Andrew's pictures are wonderful, capture the happy times that  we spent there, thank goodness, friends all over the world are enjoying the pictures, and commenting on the happy family , the lovely oven, the great photographer. The photo's help me capture the happy moments at Castlenel, and the memory of the lovely neighbours , and shopkeepers who welcomed us back again.


All shall be well,
 and all shall be well
and all manner of things shall be well.


Peace to the North
Peace to the South
Peace to the East
Peace to the West,

Peace be without,
Peace be within,

PEACE PEACE PEACE








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