November 2nd- sunshine to-day- reflecting on the last few days.

We had a lovely day with John yesterday- Philip and I - John was in great form drank some wine with Philip had some bread and cheese with olive oil.Started a crossword-all good stuff- I think we all felt uplifted. Friday I spent the afternoon with John it was out 27th wedding anniversary- we looked at our wedding photos as did some nurses-celebrated with tea and blue riband biscuits.

I really enjoyed celebrating our anniversary and Halloween-with the children - they brought us lovely thoughtful gifts from Hong Kong - I especially like the serene Buddha and the golden cat- between them they will bring us prosperity- serenity and happiness.
Philip brought Lillies and sparkly- I bought scary masks- and put lovely Halloween decorations around the place. Looked great. I enjoyed the food and the wine- the medicine is kicking in and I am feeling a lot better.

So to-day was a shock- John was very lost and distressed when I got there. We had a big hug then I rang for a nurse to help John in the end they needed there people to help John get to the loo- then he was shattered and just slept for a good hour.
They were worried about him and called the doctor- she was very kind- Clare her name is.

They have started John on an antibiotic- maybe the chest infection is causing his sleepiness- maybe not- the next 48hours will help them decide what is going on.

I felt very upset when John was upset- but mostly I sat peacefully with John hoping to be a benign influence on him.

I left- and John was quite peaceful although it took me an hour to get him prepared for me leaving.

I am home now- spoke to Andrew-shared some of my tension I think all the tears are a combination of grief and the relief of tension after being in the hospice for a long afternoon.

I am about to have a hot candlelit fairy light lit bath.

Tomorrow is another day !

All shall be well
and all shall be well
and all manner of things shall be well.

Bless my circumstances as they are now.
Bless my family tonight
Bless John tonight
Blessing on my home and my family tonight.