Hello my lovely husband--
Philip has just left to have some food with his friend Tony- tonight is his last night here at Ullet Road- Andrew and Lucy will come in for a last farewell and his friend Si too.
I was expecting Penny and Johnny on Wednesday but once again they have had to postpone- Lara will be back in Cambridge for one day only- Wednesday! it is fine- but I do miss them I got so used to spending a lot of time with them especially Johnny at the end of last year. It is strange not to have seen him since January -he seems genuinely sad not to be coming and says he misses me a lot which is touching-- poor lambs have just gone through their mum's first anniversary.
Andrew Lucy Sophie Nick little Lola and I went on the Ferry on Saturday it was a beautiful day- and everyone enjoyed it-- me too but it was very poignant for me- thinking of our wedding day-such joy- and your 80th birthday trip too- and many of our wedding anniversaries on the ferry.
I miss you John- I wish you were here to help me see Philip off on his adventure- he has has so many goodbyes - he acknowledges it is hard going but at the same time he lives in different times than we did and he feels reassured that he will see family and friends on facebook- whats app- and skype-- another world-- from us.
I would you love to to put the kettle on or open a bottle of wine and tell me to sit down .
Philip gave me tea in bed a few mornings this week- that was lovely- I miss my tea in bed with you..
I am sad and I have things to look forward to !
Four months last Sunday till you left me my darling---left all of us
We went to the cricket club on Saturday to see the match-- that was upsetting too -the last time I was there was your funeral wake-- but I was really remembering our summer evening walks over for ' two white wines' which I now know is how they referred to us over there--- two white wines-- :-)
Anita said to day that she admired me because I was brave they way I faced everything head on- I felt encouraged- and at the same time- I do not know how to avoid the special dates and poignant moments- I don't want to avoid anything to do with you it is my way of honouring you-feeling the pain of loss- and it is healing too inshalla!
Life goes on the world seems to be getting madder- we are turning our back on folk escaping from horror and letting them drown- it is terrifying- why can't we open our arms to those lost souls- to hell with money for trident and big salaries-lets share our country and our wealth- we have such privileged lives and we don't appreciate that - we still complain.
The news is full of politicians trying to get us to vote for them- I will of course vote labour- I quite like Ed he is stepping up- but anyway I prefer Labour as you did- and my folks.
Nicola Sturgeon is doing very well-- but as much as my heart likes the idea of Independence- my head says nationalism always ends in divisiveness- I think Scotland will have more power at West Minster after the election- lets hope and pray UKIP disappear off the scene.
More and more folk are heading to Syria to flight - there must be so much dis-satisfaction in their lives when this looks attractive. I wish I knew what to do--all I can do it vote- and try my best to be respectful to all the people that I come into contact with-- just one person at a time-if we all spread a little joy- everyone of us-- we could have a peaceful joyful planet over night.That is certainly what I believed when I went on the peace marches in my young days- it all seemed possible--now I am fearful - I wish a wonderful leader would emerge -one that people admired and respected- one who talked of love- respect- change -challenge- and doing all that in a peaceful way.
You know all this John we shared that dream all our lives- and it is what drove us to do the work we do/did and why we are not wealthy- we rarely worked for the money ( which was good to have of course) but giving encouragement and seeing the change and the hope was what we loved.
Thank you for all I learned from you John - and for your encouragement and respect and love.
All shall be well
and all shall be well
and all manner of things shall be well..............................TT Helen xx
No comments:
Post a Comment