Time to stop greetin

Hi John

how I miss you- I have been unbearable sad since Philip left-a combination of missing him and missing you--too much- I have felt overwhelmed with sadness and loss. I spoke to Philip the other day and he was having a sad day too- seeing all your things- and he has so many memories of being there with us for such a long time he was struggling too- but he kept busy both he and Phil have worked towards leaving castlenel the was I like it- I usually do the spring cleaning when I get there-- but I am not going for long- so I don't want to face- hard cleaning and yet more clearing of the SPTDV and paying Frank too take all the junk put there over the winter to the eco park.

Philip misses you so much- we all do.

Your gentle presence in our lives.

I had a nice message from Mary Mc Dermott ( a blast from the past in Ennis) she said a lot of nice things about us and our influence on her life and how we helped when her brother died- it is so touching that we are held so dear- by so many folk -after all this time.

I have cried enough for now- I am seeing Marie my counsellor today my appointment brought forward from Thursday and I am having a massage from Beth at 6.00 she had a cancellation ..thank goodness I was sue to go on Wednesday- I hope seeing the two of them will be help me over this tough moment in time.

I have had contact this week with all your children- they of course miss you- they are so kind and loving to me..they are tired-- they are slowly recovering form their losses-- it will take time- and I do as I promised I keep in touch and I love them all.

I am going to Glasgow on Wednesday to be with my family there- I feel the need to be close to them- I will stay till Tuesday maybe even Wednesday but will certainly be home for May 7th to vote.

Beth is giving me a blessingsway on May 9th- remember I did one for her when she was pregnant with Anoushka? now she want to do one for me to help me with my major transition--it will be emotional but it will be filled with love I am sure.

The French say Tu Se Manques " you are missing from me" that is what I am feeling- you are missing from me---I learnt that from Julian Lennon who has just lost him mum Cynthia.


TT my beloved-- Helen