September Morn!

Darling John

missing you especially to-day....we loved to dance to September Morn by Neil Diamond on September 1st every year....and we listened to Nat King Cole Autumn Leaves---gosh the words feel very personal this year....and Vivaldi- Autumn.

I wondered if I would be able to listen to those songs this year....but I did in the end..it was quite hard...very emotional...instead of dancing with you..I danced with your picture...and cried a little..for you- for all the wonderful September Morn's we spent together. I will not run away from those things my love I embrace them even if they are hard...my way of honouring you...part of my grieving for you.

I went to Bold Street when I felt a bit better.....and ordered a new sofa from Utility.....I know you would approve of the sofa and the price...15 percent off over the bank holiday....

I had a coffee in Leaf and thought of all the coffee's teas and meals we had in there...we always enjoyed them.

I have reached the time of the year that I have been dreading in a way..only because I felt I would be very emotional again..I have been calmer since we scattered your ashes...and today has proved me right..and that is Ok feeling are good an important part of us.


I saw Anita on Saturday- she is very ill- maybe in her last few weeks or months...she is on the same medication that you were on- it was strange hearing the family chat about doses etc- so like many conversations that we had..together and with family....this time I felt on the outside...a good thing I have to say...brought back memories of life being very difficult for us,,,,till we adjusted to the regime ...when you came home from hospital the first year...those memories make me feel so sad.

Anita and her family are going through all this now....I feel for them so much...they --like us-- are doing very well,,,,,I think we and all our family did really well too -in your last year...and even longer. That gives me heart....I know you noticed and appreciated all we did.

I am going to visit Penny Steve Kate Johnny Felix and Harry tomorrow...I have Dundee cake Polish Cake- peanut biscuits....and lots of little gifts for the children,,,,I hope to see Johnny on Friday...It is their wedding anniversary that day..I have already sent their card and one to Lara in HK..and I have a gift for Archie's 5th birthday-- he is going to be a school boy on Monday.Felix and Harry are five now too- they will continue at nursery for another year..time to catch up.


I met Stuart today. I have not seen him since you left us...he was very sweet....looking older--like the rest of us...Laura is coming tonight for supper..and a chat about the Bold Street book.....looking forward to hearing if there is any progress...

I have had some of your art framed recently....more still to be done....I can't get any help to get them hung..as we need an electric drill....I have asked..Brian- Phil J -Andrew- so far no one has been able to help....every one is so busy..but it will happen in time...I am wondering if I should buy and learn to use an electric drill....I read somewhere..that all woman should have among other things...a black lacy bra and an electric drill.....:-)


So my love I have almost got through..September 1st....I love you- you are the love of my life...always will be....TT... Helen XXXX